Whoopi Goldberg Reflects on Her Past Marriages: “I Was Always Having Great Sex, I Just Wasn’t Having Any Fun”

Whoopi Goldberg, the legendary actress, comedian, and EGOT winner, opened up about her past marriages in a candid conversation during The View on March 27. The 69-year-old star, who has been married three times, reflected on her relationships, admitting that while intimacy was never an issue, the experience of marriage itself was not something she found enjoyable. Her remarks, which were part of a larger discussion about Ben Affleck’s comments on his own divorce, have garnered significant attention and sparked a broader conversation about relationships, emotional investment, and the challenges of love.

A Candid Reflection on Marriage

“I was always having great sex,” Goldberg told her The View co-hosts during the segment. “I just wasn’t having any fun.” These words resonated with many viewers, as they provided a refreshingly honest perspective on what it means to be in a relationship that, while physically fulfilling, may lack the emotional satisfaction that many people expect from marriage. Goldberg’s candidness about her experience challenges the idealized notion of marriage as the ultimate path to happiness and fulfillment.

Goldberg’s remark came in the context of discussing Ben Affleck’s GQ interview, where the actor spoke about his divorce from Jennifer Lopez being free of drama or scandal. Affleck’s comments about his personal life led Goldberg to reflect on her own marriages and the complexities of romantic relationships. For Goldberg, the physical aspect of intimacy never seemed to be the issue, but rather, it was the emotional and relational components of marriage that she found unsatisfactory.

Emotional Investment in Relationships

Goldberg’s comments echo sentiments she has shared before, particularly in a 2024 interview with Chris Wallace on Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace. During that conversation, she admitted, “You have to be invested in how [your partner’s] feeling. I am not.” Her frank acknowledgment of her inability to fully invest in the emotional aspects of traditional relationships stands in stark contrast to what many people consider a foundational part of marriage: emotional connection.

Her thoughts on emotional investment and relationships were part of a larger conversation about the traditional expectations of marriage and romantic love. Goldberg has long been outspoken about her disinterest in meeting those conventional expectations, and her remarks during the The View segment reinforced this idea. For her, traditional romantic relationships and the societal pressures they carry were not something that brought her joy. Instead, Goldberg seems to find value in other aspects of life, such as friendship and personal autonomy.

The End of Three Marriages

Goldberg has been married three times throughout her life. Her first marriage was to Alvin Martin, which ended in divorce in 1979. The couple shares a daughter, Alexandrea, 51, who has largely stayed out of the public eye. Goldberg’s second marriage, to David Claessen, also ended in divorce in 1986. She was married for a third time to Lyle Trachtenberg in 1994, but this marriage, too, ended in divorce in 1995. Despite the dissolution of these marriages, Goldberg remains a firm believer in maintaining respectful relationships with her exes.

Throughout her time on The View, Goldberg has often reflected on her past relationships and how they shaped her views on love and companionship. While the public may see her as a celebrated actress and media personality, her personal life has been far from a fairytale, and she has been open about the difficulties and challenges of maintaining traditional relationships.

Divorce: A Liberation, Not a Loss

During the The View segment, Joy Behar, one of Goldberg’s long-time co-hosts, asked if Goldberg could relate to a viral op-ed that discussed women finding joy and great sex after divorce. Goldberg’s response was blunt and unexpected: “It had nothing to do with the divorce—I was just glad to get the hell out of there.” This unapologetic remark highlights Goldberg’s candid approach to discussing her personal life and her unwillingness to conform to societal expectations about marriage and divorce.

For Goldberg, divorce wasn’t seen as a failure or a tragedy, but rather a liberation. It was a personal decision that allowed her to reclaim her independence and live on her own terms. Her comments reflect the reality that many individuals, particularly women, face when navigating the complexities of relationships: sometimes, the end of a marriage can be a relief rather than a loss.

A Shift Away from Romantic Relationships

In recent years, Goldberg has been vocal about her disinterest in romantic relationships. She has made it clear that she values friendship, respect, and personal freedom over traditional romantic partnerships. Her approach to love has evolved over time, and she has come to prioritize her own happiness and well-being above all else. As she stated during The View segment, she has remained in touch with all of her ex-husbands, maintaining a cordial and respectful relationship with each of them. “I’m in touch with every one of them,” she said. “I don’t have to love you, but I will respect you.”

This perspective on relationships and divorce challenges the traditional narrative of what it means to have a successful marriage. Goldberg’s openness about the complexities of her personal life invites a larger conversation about the pressures and expectations placed on individuals in romantic partnerships. In a society that often equates marriage with success and fulfillment, Goldberg’s experiences offer a refreshing perspective on independence, self-empowerment, and the importance of respecting oneself and others.

Looking Toward the Future

Though Goldberg is no longer interested in pursuing romantic relationships, she remains an advocate for meaningful connections in other forms. Her relationships with her ex-husbands, friends, and colleagues are built on mutual respect and shared experiences. She is living proof that personal fulfillment can be achieved in various forms—whether through family, friendships, or self-love.

As she moves forward, Goldberg continues to thrive in her professional career, bringing her unique voice and perspective to The View every day. Her unapologetic attitude toward marriage, divorce, and love serves as a reminder that happiness does not always come in the form of traditional relationships, and it is possible to find fulfillment and success on one’s own terms.

A Powerful Message

What Goldberg’s candid reflections on her marriages and her decision to embrace life without the need for a traditional romantic relationship provide is a powerful message about the complexities of human relationships and the importance of self-respect. In an era when many people are still expected to conform to conventional relationship norms, Goldberg’s honesty about her own journey challenges the conventional definitions of success and happiness.

Through her words, Goldberg invites her audience to question societal expectations and find their own path to fulfillment. Whether or not one agrees with her perspective on marriage and relationships, her transparency and authenticity are undeniably powerful. In a world filled with pressures and idealized images of romance, Goldberg’s message serves as a much-needed reminder that personal happiness and contentment come in many forms.